Where do I start? I think I blew out my brain the other day at Desi's birthday party. I was pulling Spanish words and phrases out of places I didn't know existed. The family kept saying how smart I was but on this day I feel really stupid. Tio has agreed to show me Gijon, a close by town, and I try to shake my mind awake but it has other plans. It essentially says "Screw You! I'm going to the pool."
Fine.
Until Tio starts talking and I can't muster up the strength to translate it. So we drive to Gijon and once we get there we drive in circles. Tio stops on a busy corner and asks for directions. An older guy and him start talking and then another guy comes over. I hear "let me show you" from this new guy and then suddenly, he gets in the car with us and we drive off.
I start thinking "This guy is going to pull a knife on us!" but Tio doesn't blink and they converse as he continues driving. I'm too tired to care at this point and I realize that a knife isn't what's going to kill us, his cologne will. We drive for a while and then we stop and let him out. He waves and we continue on. This doesn't happen in the U.S.
We go to a university that Franco built. Tio LOVES Franco. He thinks he was the best leader ever. It is a big and beautiful place and as my mind has shut off for the day this is the best place to be. We go up to the top of the tower and look out over all of Gijon. The most surprising thing on this tour wasn't the building, it was on a screen in the elevator up to the tower showing cultural notices. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are set to reprise their roles as cops in Lethal Weapon 5? Ok, Mel Gibson is officially crazy.
After the tour, Tio says what I think is "lets go for a walk near the beach" but the reality is much different. We go to this crowded place with an explosion of advertisements and products. I recoil. All I want is food. We finally find a place to eat and I sit down with Tio and proceed to eat like a rabid animal. He likes this.
During lunch, Tio asks me if I am Roman Catholic. I say "No, I am a Buddhist". My mind laughs and says "Good Luck!" as it sips on a daiquiri poolside. Tio doesn't understand and I get off the hook. Then my mind yells out to my body "Hey why don't you come over here? I have beer!" and my body lets out a Homer Simpson squeal "Beer?!?!" and leaves. I am now just a shell following Tio around.
Tio then says "Let's go in here." And points to a giant tent that has booths and looks like an enormous Spanish infomercial. To accurately describe how I am feeling at this moment, let me share something with you. As a child, I had a recurring nightmare where I was trapped inside a strip mall and the only way they let you out was if you agreed to be blinded. That should accurately describe what I am feeling at this moment.
My mind and body show up and start screaming at me "What are you doing?!?!?" I turn and say to them "Oh, Hi. How was the pool, you F**kers?" I tell them to keep quiet because Tio is enjoying this as we all watch a man cut a potato into a curly coil. We go through a couple more booths and I finally say to Tio "Tio, I'm sorry but I'm really tired. Can we go home?" He agrees.
He tells me something I now know. "Penelope, you have three months here in Spain. You need to relax and slow down. This is Spain not the United States." He is totally right.
We get home and I go up and sleep for 4 hours. I come down eat like a rabid animal again and then go back to bed. I haven't been sleeping. Call it sensory overload, because when I get a moment by myself, my mind is running, processing everything.
People here are so nice. I am sitting in the Plaza snagging the WiFi from the police station and two people come up and start talking to me. One of them is named Jesus and he offers to marry me. I don't understand much of what he says but he is curious about my computer and has a handful of berries he offers me.
Just another fine day in Piedras Blancas.
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