Dirty old man goodbyes & other learnings...

"I need a one-way ticket to Madrid for November 1st. What times do you have? Ok, I want 1:00. I'll pay with a card, thanks."

Been thinking of how far my Spanish has progressed. Don't get me wrong, I still need to learn - LOTS. But its a far cry from grabbing the security guard to tell me what the phone was saying. I'm thinking this with a smile as I walk towards the exit of the station but a lady stops me from leaving. "Do you know how to work this machine?"

"Yes" I reply. "Where are you going? Is it one-way or return trip?". And just like that, I help out a fellow Spaniard get a train ticket from an automated machine.

Ok, so not too surprised that dirty old men need goodbyes too. It's what I've been thinking the last few days when I received an email with an attached photo from one of them. He wants to continue practicing Spanish/English via online. I'm deathly afraid of opening the picture because I'm not quite ready to see a pair of 70 year old Spanish balls.

Walking to the cafe one morning I encounter a familiar face. The guy who fills the cigarette machine is setting up outside tables at another cafe. He stops me to say "Going to write? You really like it, huh." I respond with a smile and a quick "Yep. I like it a lot." He starts to grab my face. Uh, I know this game - quickly move it to the side so I can get the standard two air kiss greeting. Bonus points for him smelling like booze on an early Sunday morning.

Just a roll through the goodbye tour. The weather has shifted and it's been cold and rainy. My delicate Key West temperament is shocked and I've been sticking close to home these days. That's ok, cause there's still more to learn there too.

Kept hearing this word being said by everyone in the family all the time but had no clue what it was. Finally during dinner one night I asked Tio: "What is this word? Cono?". He tells me it's a saying and goes to search for it in the dictionary. When he finds it he motions for me to come over and take a look. I do and before he can pronounce it in his broken English accent, my eyes grow wide and my hand goes to cover my mouth.

Cono or C*nt.

He sees my expression and starts to laugh. I hit him on the arm and say in a whisper "but you say it a lot. the family says it a lot!" Delighted in my horror, he tells me that it's not the literal meaning like we found in the dictionary. It's a saying kinda like "Aye Carumba!"

My mind immediately goes to an image of Bart Simpson saying "C*nt!"

Last night while watching the news, Tio starts getting angry at the image of a man on TV. As usual, it's a good time to ask why he doesn't like something. In this case, someone. He comes to me after the news is over. Very formal with hands crossed in front of him like a professor beginning to speech. "You asked me why I do not like this snake of a man. Here is why".

Apparently it was a guy who during the Spanish Civil War ordered to have many soldiers killed and then denied it afterwards. Tio does not like him as he winds up into very punctuated statements and finally is looking for a word to describe his mortal enemy. "Uh, uh. He is... uh."

"Cono!" I say with gusto, excited to use a new word.

Tio and Consuelo laugh and he shakes his finger at me. Yes, yes. but you know that means something like Aye Carumba.

Sure...

Tio says...

Tio says...

Don't Forget! It's time to change your clocks.

Holy Sh*t! - Picos de Europa

I hate goodbyes even little ones. Must be the reason why, I got the nickname Disapenny cause when it was time for me to go, I'd just disappear without a peep. Ok well, I used to do that in part because I hated to say goodbye AND if I did start out the door, my good drunken friends would hold me hostage for another couple of hours pouring drinks to where I wouldn't know my own name at some point.

So I began my farewell tour of Spain with Tio yesterday. The morning was freezing and it has become a common sight to see mist/fog rising off the hills as soon as the sun hits. I am in about 7 layers of clothes sitting in Tio's car. As we peel out of the driveway, I make the sign of the cross. The windshield is all fogged up and I tell him he needs to turn on the heat cause he's driving straight into the sun with no vision. He tells me he doesn't have it. Huh?

I start laughing as I have become the manual defrost. Here's the picture: me with a cloth wiping the window in front of him while we're speeding down the highway. He's got one hand on the wheel and the other blocking the sun. I just kept thinking "You asked for it!". So I did.

After a couple of stops which included a nifty stop the car sorta on the side of the road to cross the highway and knock on a stranger's door for directions, I pondered if I should get out of the car in case a truck would come round the bend and sideswipe me. It was too friggin' cold to get out of it so I stayed in and we eventually got to Covadonga.

Covadonga is an area where the Spanish beat back the Moors in a legendary battle around 700 AD. Their savior, Pelayo, is celebrated here with a church, and a chapel built into the side of a mountain. The first thing we see is this waterfall coming out under the cave. At the bottom is a the fountain of the seven spouts where legend has it ladies of a marriageable age who drink from it will become married in one year. Okey dokey.

Tio starts to tell me about the place and tells me to think of what I want in a boyfriend and then throw some money into the lake below to get it. What is it with the Catholic church and money?!?! So I start to pull out some coinage when he tells me it's too much. "But I want a good one!" I say. He gives me a 5 cent piece and tells me seriously to think of what I want.

I have a lot fun with this cause I start to name off all the things I want and realize I sound like Spaulding from Caddyshack. "I want a cheeseburger. I want fries. I want a coke." And on my fifth or sixth thing, I'm getting into fleshing out this mystical man. Tio at some point finally says "Just throw it in already."

I give the 5 cent piece a kiss and throw it in with a laugh. Tio is smiling and tells me now we'll have to wait and see. I ask "Since I threw in 5 cents can I get 5 boyfriends?" He laughs and says "One good one is all you need."

We check out the church up top as I am getting a full guided tour from Tio. He even tells me this is the place where his parents had their honeymoon over a hundred years ago. As we go into the church the confessional is open. I ask Tio if he needs it and he says no he only has small sins. Then he asks me seriously if I want to do it and I tell him I don't need it cause I'm a saint. Get a good laugh from him on that one.

Get our fill of Covadonga and a bit of lunch. He asks me if I want to see the lakes at the Picos de Europa and assures me he'll drive slow this time. It's a gorgeous, clear, fall day and I have read a lot about these mountains. I really want to see it and after examining the road think it won't be too bad.

Wrong!

The first part isn't too bad. The road is big enough for two cars and we pass a cow in the middle of it starting up. Then we keep winding up and up and up. The road narrows to a one lane road and I'm again on the side where the edge drops off. He's just chatting away and I''m looking down to analyze the car roll factor pinpointing the ones where we'd maybe survive. "See it's not too bad, there's even a wall." he says delightfully. Yeah, in some places!

I keep thinking "We've got to be at the top now, right?" when we would reach another bend and I see more of that partial wall inching up higher and higher. To his credit he is going slower and is even honking his horn when we go around a curve where you can't see if another car will come colliding into you.

I feel as if I'm on a reverse rollercoaster going up and up but there's no release. My heart is pumping and feels like it is about to explode out of my chest at any moment. My arteries are getting a cholesterol cleanse for all the patatas fritas I've been eating for the last three months and it hurts.

We reach this point at the top where there is a beautiful lake, cows, and sheep grazing everywhere. I spot more road and he keeps wanting to go higher. Finally, I can't take it anymore and yelp "No more!" when I see a point where we can stop and argue about it. He realizes I'm not going to budge and after explaining my fear of heights he gives in.

At that point I start running around taking pics while he talks to motorcyclists. It's gorgeous and worth the death defying trip up. Good god, Spain has so many beautiful places. You could spend several lifetimes getting to them all.

The suns going to start setting and so it's time to go. The ride down isn't as bad as the one up thankfully. He shows me the vista and at one point stops the car for me to take pics but I nervously say "uh, keep going - i can take them while moving." Dude likes to stop in the middle of roads.

I'm exhausted. I realize why trips with Tio wear me out. It's cause I'm driving but not in control of anything. Even though I've never been here before, I'm pointing out the way we need to go after looking over a couple maps. Telling him to stop and use the road when we're about to drive up onto a sidewalk and ram people smoking. Essentially I'm driving without driving.

After another quick stop for directions, he tells to me I'm a very good co-pilot. No shit! He tells me he needs a good co-pilot and offers to pay me for it. Tells me I can stay in Spain. I'd probably age faster than him sitting in that car too much. One good thing about the mountain drive, I'm not scared of his normal driving anymore as we speed into the setting sun. He's happy as a lark telling me stories about other family from the states that have visited him. I'm glad we did this.

We get back to the house and I thank him for a very good day. He smiles and I run off to the cafe to have a beer to stop the adrenaline machine that is my heart.

When I sit down, the owner of the cafe I visit just about every morning to write asks me when I leave Spain. I tell him next week. He shakes a finger at me and tells me I better say goodbye. "Of course!" I say in English with a smile and then say in Spanish that this is my house in the morning. I get the equivalent of Spanish love - food. A small piece of bread with fish pate tomatoes and lettuce appears.

I hate goodbyes... Maybe I need my 5 boyfriends to help soothe me.

Holy Sh*t! - Picos de Europa

Holy Covadonga

Really?!?

Still living off the Barcelona buzz back on the farm. 

When I returned, the family asked me how the trip was and I told them I saw many beautiful things. I was quite surprised to find out no one has traveled there. Showed them books on Gaudi I had bought to entice them to go. Most kinda looked at it, but not much.

I was curious, how come no one has gone?  "Because it's too far." they responded. 

I was NOT surprised to find the one person who has been there. Yep, you guessed it - Tio. Twice. As I showed him the book, he responds in delight "It's marvelous! Barcelona is a great city." and compliments me on the good purchase I made. 

I'm slowly finding out that I have more in common with this 91 year old than I would have ever imagined. One night when I was going upstairs to call him down for dinner, I started looking at his bookshelf. He has books on every subject imaginable. Including a Hemingway novel or two.

He tells me he reads a lot and on every subject because it is good to know things about the world. It's probably the reason he likes to travel and see things as well. I listen to him smiling as we watch the news. He is excitedly talking about the American election and Colin Powell's explosive endorsement. 

"Do you want to go to Covadonga?" I ask. "Yes, you can go if you like." he responds. "No, do you want to go together? In your car?" I explain still smiling. 

He looks surprised and tells me of course he would be honored to take me there and show me all the wonderful things Covadonga has. He asks Consuelo if she would like to join us. She doesn't want to. We both tell her "You should come with us." No, she's seen it already. He begins to argue with her "Why not?". I imagine Tio has seen it hundreds of times but every time he sees something in Asturias or Spain for that matter, it still has that magic for him.

We both agree to pick a very sunny day to go and he also wants to take me to the Picos de Europa. Not sure I'm up for a twisty mountain drive with Tio but we'll see. Besides the scary car driving, I really like taking trips with him. When he talks, I sit and listen like an eager student. I love hearing anything he says. He's very smart and has great insight about the world. 

I believe a lot of the family think he's crazy but he's just ahead of the curve. I mean, what 91 year old do you know that has a roving robot lawn mower? 

The family sometimes roll their eyes or shluff him off when he starts talking. He's a bit different then them. He's a bit different then most here and I tell him than most people I know back in the states. He just shakes his head and waves me off when I say this. 

I want another trip with him. I may need to take a flask of wine with me but I will walk on the wild side and get in the car again with that cat. It's worth it.

It's been rainy and cold the last two days. Fall is in full swing. After being cooped up long enough, I decide it's time for a walk outside, damn the rain. As I start to put on my raincoat, the family can't believe I'm going out. Tio looks at me, points at his head, laughs and says "I think you might be a little crazy." 

"A little crazy, yes, but it's goooood." I say with a mischievous grin. He just nods in agreement and gives me a big smile.

 

Oye!

Floating is Fun

Ah. I can't say enough good things about Barcelona. During the day, I found museums, art, musicians, and artists. At night, I found all kinds of cool funky places with great people to talk to - that was the best. My last night in town I tried to take it all in. It practically killed me the next day but was worth it.

So my last night, I decided I wanted to float around town. Started out with drinks and dinner with Holland Harald. Got to know our Italian bartender, Luigi, a bit more. Great guy who started out working in Ibiza as a security guard for a bunch of girls. He assured me they were high class. Of course! 

I asked him if he had to ever "secure anything" and he told me yes. He had some guy he kicked out after pissing in the middle of the lounge, come back with five guys to beat him up. Luigi called the owner of the villa he worked in and then another fifteen guys showed up to beat the five. He said he spent two months in Ibiza and after experiencing the security detail of a high class hall, he decided that restaurant work is more his thing. He did say there were some GREAT benefits to it though. Of course!

I wanted to hit two other places. The first being this cool Rock and Roll bar I found a couple of nights ago after discovering Hipster Armpit Alley. Pretty easy to find just follow the bumping beats and people dancing in the streets. Don't forget the dirt and bombed out looking buildings.

The hipster bar was cool but I had wanted more music and stumbled upon this Rock and Roll place when I saw a blackened window accompanied by a hand written sign that said "Heavy Metal Music - You pick it and we'll let you sing". I could hear the screaming music from the outside and definitely wanted in. 

The 80's metal movement is alive and well over here. I think it's their version of Goth. Everyone is in black clothes, pierced, and generally looks pissed off listening to it. The cute curly blond bartender is in a Motley Crue T-shirt and has his requisite chunky metal jewelry. There's AC DC, Iron Maiden, Kiss, Ozzy all adorning the walls along with a couple of burnt and stitched up baby dolls framed with blood oozing out of them. Love it.

So walked into heavy metal heaven, on my last night and got quite a couple interesting looks. I guess I stuck out in a fleece jacket and a red girly top. After the bar grunted back at their drinks, a guy who showed me where the bathroom was offered me a seat at his table. Sat down with him and couldn't believe what we talked about. After telling him where I was from he launched into TV shows he grew up with.

It took me a minute to know what he was saying but when he started to talk into an imaginary watch saying "Kitt! Kitt! Where are you?". I screamed with delight "Knight Rider?!?!" In Spain it was called "Fantastic Car". 

So we get to talking 80's pop culture which also included my favorite cheesy made for TV sci-fi movie "V". This guy loved it and so did I. It's the movie where aliens come to Earth pretending to be our friends but are secretly lizards who want to eat us. We reenact certain scenes of them eating rats, their other favorite meal. Who knew I'd get a pop culture fix with a Spanish guy in a heavy metal bar? 

Then he asks if I want to play pool. As AC DC's "Back in Black" is cranking up, I excitedly say "Yea!!". Start to check the pool cue straightness on the table when the guy gives me a look. "What?" I ask. He gives me a suspicious look, like I'm going to take him for a ride. I do and I beat him. If you ever want to get a gut check on a guy's ego, ladies, I suggest playing pool with the dudes. 

He doesn't particularly like it but he's gracious. As I decide it's time to go, he asks me to stay. I tell him I can't but when I come back to Barcelona, I'll bring him a copy of "V". "When?" he asks and I start thinking that I'm sad to be leaving here. "I don't know, a year?" 

"Arrrghhh!!!" was the response but he gives me his phone number and tells me to call him when I come back. I tell him when I call, all I'll say when I call is V!! - In Spanish it sounds like Ooobee. 

I let down my hair for a minute and he looked at me with a long stare and tells me he likes it. Of course! - his hair is longer than mine.

Say goodbye to my Crue buddies and bloody babies and head out to RA which is nearby the hotel. Cool little spot with great music as well but they're closing up. Crap! but that's a good sign that it's time to head to sleep.

Get home to find Rocky on and he's chasing that chicken. Felt a surge of energy when he caught it.

The next morning was a bit rough. After I shoved my belongings in a bus locker, I zombie walked around town a bit more until my 10pm ride out. Boarded up and took my 13 hour ride back feeling a bit apprehensive leaving. 

Got that feeling a couple times this week. Once when I got a TO-GO cup of coffee after the guy asked me do I want it in a paper cup or a CUP cup. I took it to-go but it seemed foreign to not be sitting down with it. And another time when I started to hear English from all the British and American tourists around me and didn't like hearing it.  

Re-entry is going to be interesting. 

VIVA Barcelona

Can't get enough. More. More. more.

Barcelona!!

Taking a little break to let my feet rest. Barcelona is just simply amazing. Lots of art and great people. Every little nook has something to enjoy.

So to start out, I first arrived early morning after taking an overnight train from Oviedo to Barcelona. Started out with a full compartment of 6 which was whittled down to 3. At that point, the two guys who were in there with me took their seats and laid them flat to snooze. I did too and at one point thought it was funny that we're complete strangers but if you got rid of the arm rests we'd all be spooning each other.

Took the metro to Las Ramblas which is the main drag. Lots of street performers, vendors, birds, fresh flowers and lot o tourists. After taking in a great retrospective of Picasso, I started walking around planning on getting tapas and wine every once in a while till I found this cool tapa bar.

Sat at the bar and started chatting with the Italian bartenders. They were very, very attentive and I'm having a lot of fun playing this side of the tourist game. I have now realized that there are two questions the guys ask. Where are you from and how long are you here? wink wink. ding! One of the guys has been traveling and working in different countries for the last 12 years. I ask him what his favorite country has been and he says with a big smile - Spain.

Got to talking with another American lady and a guy from Holland who sat down next to me. It's the first time I've talked to an American since I landed here. As she left, I said goodbye and the guy from Holland said "You're not leaving too?" and I said no that we just met. He looks surprised and I tell him that's how this whole trip has been - meeting people along the way. He asked me if I wanted to stay for another drink and I said sure.

He orders champagne and asked what I wanted. The lady-like thing would be to order a nice glass of wine but I what I really wanted was a beer. So beer it is. When the Italian bartender puts the beer down in front of Harold I say "Uh, that's mine." He just smiles, gives me a hearty laugh and a happy high-five.

Holland Harold and I got to chatting and I found out he had a GPS company and was in town to learn Spanish. His teacher told him they should go out and find people to speak with after class but all he's been able to find is people who are speaking anything but Spanish. I told him he needed to go down the alleys to the dirty parts of town. "Really?" he said and I nodded and confirmed it with a yep.

He asked about my trip here and told him a bit including the part of having to change my name. When I told him why he let out a dirty deep throated laugh with a giant smile. Very surprising from a Holland person cause most of the time you wonder if they even have teeth. Who knew having your name sound like penis could be such an ice breaker?

He followed it up with telling me about Holland's prime minister who traveled to different countries and struggled with his name. "What was it?" I asked. He spelled it out for me. "Prime Minister Kok?!?" I exclaimed. We both busted up laughing. He re-entacted how Prime Minster Kok was introduced to other countries. By the way in Holland it sounds more like Cook.

After briefly going into my history which includes a bit of a marketing background he quickly tells me that he needs a marketing manager cause he just fired his last one. Hmmm.... He asks me how long I'm in town for and then gives me his business card and tells me to email him. He tells me that he won't ever forget my name. I just say "Well, how can you ever forget a person named penis? See, that's marketing you just can't buy!"

I get a kiss goodbye and happily start wandering off with a big grin on my face when I realize I'm lost. And drunk.

Hmmm.... Where the hell am I??? I go past a bar named Karma and take a couple dead ends. Finally I get close to the water and pull out my book. Yeah, right. I'm too buzzed to read it or focus on the map for that matter and I just laugh. So I think I recognize a theater and feel the instinct that I'm on the right path. I finally get back to Las Ramblas and start floating down that street when a cute guy hands me a flyer.

He starts telling me where the club is and I thank him for the card and begin to walk away. He quickly grabs the book out my hand and looks at it. "Hmm. Where have you been today?" he says in Spanish while opening it with a professors tone and a curious grin. I switch to Spanish and start telling him the Picasso museum and some other stuff.

Two can play this game. I'm figuring he gets some sort of reward for shooting people down to the Deja Vu bar so I flip over the card for his info.

"Is your name number 3?" I say inquisitively

He looks at me surprised and then with a big smile and a great laugh he says no. "Well, number 3. What is your name?" I say, now switching the tables.

It's Luis and he wants me to stick around but I'm exhausted. I tell him I've been drinking, on a train all day and need sleep, so not tonight. He asks me to please come back to this area tomorrow and makes me promise I will. He's very sweet. I say ok and when I do I get two kisses and a cute little smile. I wave goodbye and continue floating home. I like Barcelona.

The next day I hit all the Gaudi goodness. Absolutely amazing views of organic shapes all architecture based on nature. The Sagrada Familia is a work in progress which is really interesting and it's the best church I've ever seen. It's literally a celebration of life. The columns are supposed to be trees and the inside cathedral ceiling is exactly like being beneath a canopy of trees. It's so beautiful there are not enough words to describe it. There is a small school beside the church where his studio/living quarters were. He did everything. Sculpted, designed, drew. Creation. Creation. Creation. It's inspiring.

I have to hunt to find his home up in Palau Guell but it's totally worth it. Walked everywhere in that park and each corner I turned I found something else that literally blew my mind. The organic shapes weaved in naturally with the trees, flowers, and just meshed together like magic. I love his shapes, his colors, his movement.

His thoughtful designs for architecture are mind-blowing. Simplistic, useful but at the same time creative beyond creative. I can't get enough of this as I visited his La Pedrera and Casa Batllo today. This was the whole reason I wanted to come here and I was fulfilled beyond belief.

The art is inspiring and is everywhere. The people are warm and vibrant. This city is literally buzzing all day and all night. I love it and feel like I can't get enough.

There's probably more I could say but I need to process it first. If you ever have the chance to visit this place all I can say is GO. The Barcelona trip is just adding fuel to the ever growing fire. I can't believe how great these last three months have been...

Gaudi is God

Gaudi is God

Gaudi is AMAZING. 

LOVE LOVE LOVE Barcelona. UNBELIEVABLE.

Had a really fun night last night and there's not enough hours in the day to see all the art I want to. Saw Picasso yesterday. Got a good Gaudi fix today and plan on hitting more tomorrow. 

In the meantime, here's some pics...