Farm Living - Kickin' it Old School

Farm living is quite interesting. Especially when it's old school. How can I explain this best?

When I first arrived in August, I was surprised to find that there were no screens on any of the windows. I have never seen larger mosquitos in my life or flies for that matter. Did I tell you I have a pet spider? Actually three. Normally I can't stand them, but this one has been a godsend. He sits in the corner and when a bug comes close he pounces. I cheer him on with each catch and watch curiously to see how quickly he swaddles them up with his web.

The other day I was watching a similar dance but it was on the first floor. The LARGEST mosquito I had ever seen and a spider half it's size, snagged it. They both fought hard and fell twirling to the floor in a scene straight out of Top Gun. I was mesmerized at how the spider could keep it nailed down. Watched intently to see if the spider could out maverick the skeeter when a force bigger than both of them ended it.

Consuelo was trying to figure out what I was so interested in and when she found out, she stepped on them. NOOOOOOOOooooooo. I wanted to see who would win. Did I mention that I am easily entertained?

There are other things I don't quite get. One day I saw Tio fill some container in the closet under the stairs with gas. A huge jug of it. I have no idea what he's filling but the heavy smell of gas in house scared me a bit. Sometimes I just have to turn my head away, kinda like how I stopped asking what kind of meat it is we're eating.

Other times when you see things in the yard and then see them on the dinner table it's a little unsettling. Like the time I thought Consuelo was offering me meatballs but it was snails instead. Monica pointed out the one that Tio said he plucked off the window of the house. Yikes.

So yesterday I got home for lunch/dinner and sat down with Consuelo. Tio has been out on a trip of his own near Madrid, to which he unfortunately drove. I shudder to think of the car on a long distance trip or anyone he picks up for directions. It's good he gets out though.

Anyway, I heard something at the door. Monica opened it up and there was a homemade mousetrap. How homemade? Well you take a piece of wood shellac it with a bunch of clear glue and add half a slice of salami.

Taaah Daaah!!

It had worked as a little mouse was stuck to it and sitting in front of the door. Monica grimaced and nervously laughed a bit when she realized it was now her job to pry it off and put it in the trash. Consuelo gave the word like a mafia queen. Her and I just stared at it in amazement. "I've never seen anything quite like it!" she said in her British accent. It seriously looked like something straight out of the middle ages.

She grabbed the smaller wood block handle and had slab of wood, salami and mouse in one hand with a crowbar metal spike in the other heading towards the garbage bin.

"Wait!! Oh, this is a great picture!" I cried. "No. You're not taking a picture of this!" she said. She wouldn't let me take it as she laughed at the notion of a picture of said morbid mouse scene. I felt bad for the mouse but it was the funniest thing ever seeing her walk hesitantly to the trash trying to muster up the strength to un-shellac the mouse. When she finished the block was put back in the corner of the living room. I shivered to now know where a trap was.

Monica was still feeling the ick from the stick and so I tried to cheer her up. "Well, now you have something new to put on your resume!"

She told me that she was scared Tio and Consuelo were going to ask her to kill a chicken. What?? I started to laugh. The chickens weren't laying any eggs lately and if they didn't get to it, we might be having chicken soon.

Her and I looked at each other and started laughing. "They wouldn't make you do that would they?" I asked. She didn't know, but I guess Tio had told her the best way to pluck a chicken was to put it in boiling hot water so the feathers would gently fall off. I told her I am absolutely taking pictures if she has to pluck a chicken.

"See you Wednesday!!" I said in anticipation of possible chicken pluck day. Monica looked like she was going to throw up and I added "I'll talk to the chickens and tell them they better start layin'." She laughed.

Tio gets back Wednesday and they better start producing. You don't want to upset the Don.