Spanish 101: How to Argue in Spanish

The other day I started wondering if my Spanish speaking progress had stalled a bit. I was painting on a bridge and two men approached wanting to talk about my painting. A couple things were realized. One was that I can go pretty far into my own little world when I'm drifting about and definitely when I'm painting. Two was it's really hard to snap out of that world and start thinking in Spanish.

All is good though, I had a jump-start on the Spanish yesterday in a minor argument with Tio. My father had called the other day when I was out. After returning, Tio and Consuelo scarily came to me to tell me my father called and he was going to call back at 9:00pm. They looked at me for a reaction - "Ok". It wasn't the reaction they wanted. 

Nine o clock rolled around but he didn't call. Tio got a bit freaky "Why hasn't he called? He said nine!". I told him I didn't know, maybe he was working in the yard or at the grocery store. "It's Sunday the grocery stores are closed!" he exclaimed. Uh, not in America they're open 24/7, I explained.

The next day before I was heading out, he told me I needed to stay at the house to wait for my father to call. 

"No." I said. 

I hate waiting and don't even get me started on being caged up. If I don't have freedom to roam around, it's gonna get ugly. I like to always be in motion. My thinking is I have plenty of time to sit when I'm old and can't move around anymore; for now - I want to do. 

Tio starts to question me and I finally tell him: "Look, I'm not going to wait around all day in the house for my father to call. Besides, I talk to him everyday on my computer. I don't need to call him. If you need to talk to him, call him. You need it, not me."  Tio starts freaking a bit "You don't want to talk to your father??" The computer thing is a foreign concept just as the dishwasher that sits in their kitchen unused is.

"No." I said. 

"I don't understand you." he said shaking his head. 

"Ok." I said.

"Do you want a banana?" Tio asked

"No, thank you." I reply

"Why don't you like bananas?!" he got freaky again.

"I do like them but when I'm in the U.S. I eat them all the time. When I can't sit down for a large meal I eat a banana. And right now, I don't want one." I tried to explain. "Are you afraid of getting fat?" he asked. I get asked this a lot when I don't put a ton of sugar in things or I'm not constantly eating. It gets old. 

"No, I eat what I want when I'm hungry. I ate yogurt and I don't want a banana." I said. Monica chimed in "Remember that year that you ate beans all the time? You didn't want them anymore. It's the same thing!" she said. "No one can eat bananas for a whole year!" he exclaimed. 

Oh, yes they can.

Finally, it got a bit quiet. Then Tio said "I think wine is the best part of the meal.". I laughed and said "Yes." After I left the house, I quickly called my parents and told them they needed to call tonight so that this whole thing would go away. "They need to see me talk to you." I explained. We laughed and they agreed to call. They did and it was nothing. I figured he'd be doing cartwheels but Tio didn't say anything. 

Seeing how we had our first major disagreement, as any good family member does, I wanted to see how far I could push it. The gates were open, no more of this frilly family courtship - let's get real. 

So I start doing the dishes while he's watching the sports report. Consuelo spots me and laughs. I tell her "It's easy!". She nods and keeps an eye on Tio while secretly handing me more dishes. I finish them and am drying when Tio walks in. He looks at it in shock; shakes a finger at me and smiles. 

I sit back down with him and he tries to find the English to say "Since you've worked so hard...". I say matter as factly "Tio, I have three jobs and this is nothing. I like to work and I like to help." He smiles and pours me a big glass of wine and gives me a bar of chocolate as my reward. When I see he's finished with the last plate, I snatch it.

He resists; trying to grab it from my hands. I just slap him on the arm and imitate him in the way I say: "No!".

He laughs and I finally worm my way into helping them out.