Really?!?

Still living off the Barcelona buzz back on the farm. 

When I returned, the family asked me how the trip was and I told them I saw many beautiful things. I was quite surprised to find out no one has traveled there. Showed them books on Gaudi I had bought to entice them to go. Most kinda looked at it, but not much.

I was curious, how come no one has gone?  "Because it's too far." they responded. 

I was NOT surprised to find the one person who has been there. Yep, you guessed it - Tio. Twice. As I showed him the book, he responds in delight "It's marvelous! Barcelona is a great city." and compliments me on the good purchase I made. 

I'm slowly finding out that I have more in common with this 91 year old than I would have ever imagined. One night when I was going upstairs to call him down for dinner, I started looking at his bookshelf. He has books on every subject imaginable. Including a Hemingway novel or two.

He tells me he reads a lot and on every subject because it is good to know things about the world. It's probably the reason he likes to travel and see things as well. I listen to him smiling as we watch the news. He is excitedly talking about the American election and Colin Powell's explosive endorsement. 

"Do you want to go to Covadonga?" I ask. "Yes, you can go if you like." he responds. "No, do you want to go together? In your car?" I explain still smiling. 

He looks surprised and tells me of course he would be honored to take me there and show me all the wonderful things Covadonga has. He asks Consuelo if she would like to join us. She doesn't want to. We both tell her "You should come with us." No, she's seen it already. He begins to argue with her "Why not?". I imagine Tio has seen it hundreds of times but every time he sees something in Asturias or Spain for that matter, it still has that magic for him.

We both agree to pick a very sunny day to go and he also wants to take me to the Picos de Europa. Not sure I'm up for a twisty mountain drive with Tio but we'll see. Besides the scary car driving, I really like taking trips with him. When he talks, I sit and listen like an eager student. I love hearing anything he says. He's very smart and has great insight about the world. 

I believe a lot of the family think he's crazy but he's just ahead of the curve. I mean, what 91 year old do you know that has a roving robot lawn mower? 

The family sometimes roll their eyes or shluff him off when he starts talking. He's a bit different then them. He's a bit different then most here and I tell him than most people I know back in the states. He just shakes his head and waves me off when I say this. 

I want another trip with him. I may need to take a flask of wine with me but I will walk on the wild side and get in the car again with that cat. It's worth it.

It's been rainy and cold the last two days. Fall is in full swing. After being cooped up long enough, I decide it's time for a walk outside, damn the rain. As I start to put on my raincoat, the family can't believe I'm going out. Tio looks at me, points at his head, laughs and says "I think you might be a little crazy." 

"A little crazy, yes, but it's goooood." I say with a mischievous grin. He just nods in agreement and gives me a big smile.

 

Tractor Time!

Had a good day yesterday (of course, it's Spain) and thought nothing could top the pinnacle of picking my own apple from the field trees. But I was wrong.

Got home and started to drop my bag to reach for chocolate that Desy had offered, until I heard a sound. A sound that made me run out of the house with my camera like a madwoman. 

The tractor!!!

Running, trying hard to narrowly miss stepping on slugs along the way, I found Tio clomping around in his wooden clog farming shoes. The tractor was on and I started snapping pics. He laughed and waved at me to hold on a minute. Then he climbed on and was ready for his close up.

Awesome.

I laughed as he has finally succumbed to me taking photos of him. Then he asked me "You want a picture?" 

Me? On the tractor? Hell yea! 

So I climbed up laughing the whole time. Got my feet into position then I got to watch Tio try to figure out my digital camera. It was hilarious. There was a lot of dirt on it when I got it back.

"It's too dark" he said. "We'll have to take more tomorrow"  I just laughed. Then I got the best news of all... He'll maybe let me drive it. 

I'll get to plow! 

I Spy

I spy a grandfather and grandson talking trains. When the little boy asks a question, his grandfather responds: "Si Senor. Si Senor." 

They both have the same ears.

I spy a punk rocker sitting with his bike at near the base of an outdoor sculpture. His piercings move as he tells me to look at the plaque beneath it and they keep moving as he goes on to tell me how marvelous the piece is.

I spy a guy at sunset sitting atop a rock cliff peak fishing as the wind howls. He casually casts away at the tippy top of an unwalkable path. The wind pushes people aside but he sits perfectly still.

I spy an old man walking wearing a ladies kerchief on his head smoking a cigar. As he passes, he jumps out at me to proclaim: 

"I am beautiful, no?!" 

Yes. 

I spy Tio feeding the chickens. He laughs as the flash from my camera goes off. "You can take those photos home and say 'Look at what Tio does!'". I say yes and continue snapping away. He keeps laughing but asks me if I can send him a copy when I get home. 

Si Senor.

Farm Living - Kickin' it Old School

Farm living is quite interesting. Especially when it's old school. How can I explain this best?

When I first arrived in August, I was surprised to find that there were no screens on any of the windows. I have never seen larger mosquitos in my life or flies for that matter. Did I tell you I have a pet spider? Actually three. Normally I can't stand them, but this one has been a godsend. He sits in the corner and when a bug comes close he pounces. I cheer him on with each catch and watch curiously to see how quickly he swaddles them up with his web.

The other day I was watching a similar dance but it was on the first floor. The LARGEST mosquito I had ever seen and a spider half it's size, snagged it. They both fought hard and fell twirling to the floor in a scene straight out of Top Gun. I was mesmerized at how the spider could keep it nailed down. Watched intently to see if the spider could out maverick the skeeter when a force bigger than both of them ended it.

Consuelo was trying to figure out what I was so interested in and when she found out, she stepped on them. NOOOOOOOOooooooo. I wanted to see who would win. Did I mention that I am easily entertained?

There are other things I don't quite get. One day I saw Tio fill some container in the closet under the stairs with gas. A huge jug of it. I have no idea what he's filling but the heavy smell of gas in house scared me a bit. Sometimes I just have to turn my head away, kinda like how I stopped asking what kind of meat it is we're eating.

Other times when you see things in the yard and then see them on the dinner table it's a little unsettling. Like the time I thought Consuelo was offering me meatballs but it was snails instead. Monica pointed out the one that Tio said he plucked off the window of the house. Yikes.

So yesterday I got home for lunch/dinner and sat down with Consuelo. Tio has been out on a trip of his own near Madrid, to which he unfortunately drove. I shudder to think of the car on a long distance trip or anyone he picks up for directions. It's good he gets out though.

Anyway, I heard something at the door. Monica opened it up and there was a homemade mousetrap. How homemade? Well you take a piece of wood shellac it with a bunch of clear glue and add half a slice of salami.

Taaah Daaah!!

It had worked as a little mouse was stuck to it and sitting in front of the door. Monica grimaced and nervously laughed a bit when she realized it was now her job to pry it off and put it in the trash. Consuelo gave the word like a mafia queen. Her and I just stared at it in amazement. "I've never seen anything quite like it!" she said in her British accent. It seriously looked like something straight out of the middle ages.

She grabbed the smaller wood block handle and had slab of wood, salami and mouse in one hand with a crowbar metal spike in the other heading towards the garbage bin.

"Wait!! Oh, this is a great picture!" I cried. "No. You're not taking a picture of this!" she said. She wouldn't let me take it as she laughed at the notion of a picture of said morbid mouse scene. I felt bad for the mouse but it was the funniest thing ever seeing her walk hesitantly to the trash trying to muster up the strength to un-shellac the mouse. When she finished the block was put back in the corner of the living room. I shivered to now know where a trap was.

Monica was still feeling the ick from the stick and so I tried to cheer her up. "Well, now you have something new to put on your resume!"

She told me that she was scared Tio and Consuelo were going to ask her to kill a chicken. What?? I started to laugh. The chickens weren't laying any eggs lately and if they didn't get to it, we might be having chicken soon.

Her and I looked at each other and started laughing. "They wouldn't make you do that would they?" I asked. She didn't know, but I guess Tio had told her the best way to pluck a chicken was to put it in boiling hot water so the feathers would gently fall off. I told her I am absolutely taking pictures if she has to pluck a chicken.

"See you Wednesday!!" I said in anticipation of possible chicken pluck day. Monica looked like she was going to throw up and I added "I'll talk to the chickens and tell them they better start layin'." She laughed.

Tio gets back Wednesday and they better start producing. You don't want to upset the Don.

Tio: The Phantom Menace

Just been kickin' it the last day or two. Painting at the beach and getting some sun. This morning after my visit to the cafe for a big ole cup of joe and some wee fee (Wi Fi), I decided I'd pick up a couple of items and surprise Tio.

Shopping here is fun because it's all new too. I needed some toiletries so I decided to visit the pharmacy thinking it's just like CVS. Uh, it's not. I walk in looking for some soap and toilet paper and what I got was a boutique with a very serious pharmacist. She looked like a doctor more than most doctors I've visited in the U.S.  I was expecting the type of atmosphere where they make you sign your life away if you buy over the counter cold medicine because you know, phlegm=meth.

Everything is segmented here. You want fruit? There's a fruit store. You want meat? There's a meat store. You want soap and toilet paper? There's a store for that. 

Now after working in retail advertising, every trip to a new store is fun. You may think that items are just haphazardly placed around the store. They're not. Companies put just as much thought into where they put a product in a store as when they come up with that cute fluffy annoying bear to sell you fabric softener. 

For example, go into a cereal aisle. All sugary kid-loving cereals are placed on the bottom shelves cause that's where the little critters can spot them and throw a tantrum in the store until they get it. It's interesting to see how a store thinks you need to see things.

I look around and see black maxi pads. Then I see Nair hair remover right next to the Raid. Ok, there's an unwanted item aisle - hair and roaches. I find the body soap and it has all kinds of new flavors. People here love their yogurt and there's a yogurt smelling soap. I go through a few and find one and the TP and head over to a pastry shop Tio likes. 

I want to surprise him with a selection of postres. Here's the thing, since I've been here he won't let me do any house work or pay for anything. I secretly sneak in washing dishes when he's not looking cause when he finds me, I get a lecture. "This is my work. My duty." he says. I try to explain that I want to help and it's no big deal. The lecture continues till I give up. I even tried rinsing the dishes and it gets the same result. 

I have offered to help him farm and he just laughs. "You don't know how." he says. I tell him "Teach me!!" Then I get a serious "No." Damn it, I'm not used to this. I'm not used to not earning my keep in some way. After meals I look at dirty dishes like a work junkie - I just need to scrape off that rice. Just let me, it's just a little cleanin' can't hurt nothing. twitch twitch.

So here's my counter attack, I'm going to get him something I know he loves and bring it home for the mid-day meal. I go in to get a selection and smile to myself, happy that I can do something nice for him since he's done a great thing for me by opening his home. 

The lady behind the counter tells me it's five Euros and as I start to count it out, I feel a slap on my arm. It's Tio and he comes out of nowhere. 

"You've got to be kidding me!" I say in English shocked as he waves off my money and pays for it. I have no words in Spanish to meet this and I just laugh. "This is supposed to be a gift for you!" I finally say. He just waves me off and tells me he's got his car which is parked in the middle of the street. Tio does whatever the hell he wants.

I can't stop laughing and he laughs too. "Damn it!" I say as I shake my fist at him. He tells me later that my intention was good and thanks me. I said "Don't mention it, you paid for it!"

I show him that I also bought some toilet paper and he freaks. Good thing I didn't show him the soap.