Dirty old man goodbyes & other learnings...

"I need a one-way ticket to Madrid for November 1st. What times do you have? Ok, I want 1:00. I'll pay with a card, thanks."

Been thinking of how far my Spanish has progressed. Don't get me wrong, I still need to learn - LOTS. But its a far cry from grabbing the security guard to tell me what the phone was saying. I'm thinking this with a smile as I walk towards the exit of the station but a lady stops me from leaving. "Do you know how to work this machine?"

"Yes" I reply. "Where are you going? Is it one-way or return trip?". And just like that, I help out a fellow Spaniard get a train ticket from an automated machine.

Ok, so not too surprised that dirty old men need goodbyes too. It's what I've been thinking the last few days when I received an email with an attached photo from one of them. He wants to continue practicing Spanish/English via online. I'm deathly afraid of opening the picture because I'm not quite ready to see a pair of 70 year old Spanish balls.

Walking to the cafe one morning I encounter a familiar face. The guy who fills the cigarette machine is setting up outside tables at another cafe. He stops me to say "Going to write? You really like it, huh." I respond with a smile and a quick "Yep. I like it a lot." He starts to grab my face. Uh, I know this game - quickly move it to the side so I can get the standard two air kiss greeting. Bonus points for him smelling like booze on an early Sunday morning.

Just a roll through the goodbye tour. The weather has shifted and it's been cold and rainy. My delicate Key West temperament is shocked and I've been sticking close to home these days. That's ok, cause there's still more to learn there too.

Kept hearing this word being said by everyone in the family all the time but had no clue what it was. Finally during dinner one night I asked Tio: "What is this word? Cono?". He tells me it's a saying and goes to search for it in the dictionary. When he finds it he motions for me to come over and take a look. I do and before he can pronounce it in his broken English accent, my eyes grow wide and my hand goes to cover my mouth.

Cono or C*nt.

He sees my expression and starts to laugh. I hit him on the arm and say in a whisper "but you say it a lot. the family says it a lot!" Delighted in my horror, he tells me that it's not the literal meaning like we found in the dictionary. It's a saying kinda like "Aye Carumba!"

My mind immediately goes to an image of Bart Simpson saying "C*nt!"

Last night while watching the news, Tio starts getting angry at the image of a man on TV. As usual, it's a good time to ask why he doesn't like something. In this case, someone. He comes to me after the news is over. Very formal with hands crossed in front of him like a professor beginning to speech. "You asked me why I do not like this snake of a man. Here is why".

Apparently it was a guy who during the Spanish Civil War ordered to have many soldiers killed and then denied it afterwards. Tio does not like him as he winds up into very punctuated statements and finally is looking for a word to describe his mortal enemy. "Uh, uh. He is... uh."

"Cono!" I say with gusto, excited to use a new word.

Tio and Consuelo laugh and he shakes his finger at me. Yes, yes. but you know that means something like Aye Carumba.

Sure...

Keepin' it Clean.. Maybe.

Keepin' the streets clean. Are Spaniards obsessive compulsive?

My morning walk had me seeing many ladies sweeping their stoops. One who even soaped up her section of the walk and waited for me to pass before sloshing it with water. When I first got here, I had one lady stop me to express her outrage that they weren't cleaning the streets right. She was really pissed off about it.

There is a lot of care in how everything looks. Even at the cemetery the other day, I watched an older lady truck in a wheelbarrow with supplies. Now that's commitment. 

I guess it's just taking care of something you love. I also think people just like working in the earth. Tio talks about cleaning up the field for some more planting. He absolutely loves it and it keeps him young. 

Been planning to go visit another section of Spain for a day or two. Pretty much decided that I need to go and buy a bus ticket, get dropped off and find a place to stay. This is an area where there's a whole other dialect that has a bit of Portuguese in it so that should be interesting. More ways to pantomime in Spanish.  

Finally, told Tio that I'm going to Barcelona. Perfect timing as he brought out a driving map of Spain in order to pressure me to get in his car, AGAIN. Jose, MaCarmen and Manuel suddenly disappeared when he began to talk about it. I'm beginning to think that no one wants to tell him no. After smiling and saying no several times, he confessed that buses did run to many of the places he mentioned. Arguing keeps him young too.

This week I confirmed that I'm learning Spanish from dirty old men. After sharing some funny stories with Monica about who's been chatting me up from time to time, she confirmed something I already knew. And I got to hear "they're trying to get into your knickers" in an authentic British accent.

Yeah, there's something not right about a 70 year old Spaniard with a MySpace page. Again, this is something lacking in the Rosetta Stone language school: How to respond to dirty old men come ons. It blows doors off of being able to ask for an apple.

A lot of people have been stopping me to ask for directions. The thing I like best is seeing the questioners face when I start talking. It's a complete "Oh shit." moment which entertains me every time. 

I've been asked about trains, buses, and if I have any pens. Also people like to vent their frustrations about other people. Some lady ranted to me the other day as we both watched a woman with baby in stroller try to cross a street against the pedestrian light. The Spanish are not shy with their opinions.

I find that arguments of any kind help. Passionate explanation is a benefit. The other night while Zapatero, the Spanish prime minister, was on the TV, Tio started spouting off. He is a left wing leader and Tio can't stand him. Tio is a Republican which caused me to ask, "If you are from the Right, Why do you like Obama?". He started telling me in much enthusiasm that it's not about the party it's about the person. 

I got some further explanation about Zapatero and his main reason for dislike was a disrespectful gesture of not standing up and saluting the American troops and president. Respect is BIG here. Something I've learned and try to treat them with everyday. Tio is going on about it and I keep asking questions while Consuelo tries to get me to stop. She just keeps looking at me with fearful eyes and a "don't do it" nodding gesture.

I love it. Even though I may not agree with his views, I can respect it. After his speech I tell him I understand. And then I thank him for his explanation. 

To which he and Consuelo find it funny and start laughing because it's quite the opposite of what just happened. He looked like he was going to strangle someone while explaining the object of his dislike.

Hey, it all helps.

Spanish 101: Time to Test What You've Learned

Are you ready kids? Time to test your language skills...On Spanish TV. More on that later.

Yesterday was a big day. I went to Salinas and tried to paint but it was too windy so I headed over to Aviles for festival. Originally, I was trying to find this giant head festival/parade and from what the sign said it started at 7:00pm. Went to the park to paint for a bit when along comes the Spanish Conch Train right past me. 

This Spanish conch train is different than the one in Key West. It whips around the town and the people on it are whoopin' it up. Whistling, slapping the side of it, and yelling "Oye! Oye!" The conductor isn't narrating anything, he's just smiling joy-riding them through town. The one in Key West has a guy telling you over a speaker what you're seeing and the people on it have a dead blank stare like animals going to slaughter. 

After a bit of painting in the park, I sat at a cafe and had a cerveza. I've been reading Hemmingway's "The Sun Also Rises" and he really gives a great description of Spain and its fiestas. Within one hour, I watched the plaza fill up with people and then a band of horns came in with a Charlie Chaplin looking guy in the center. Everyone started dancing along with the Chaplin dude. I kept looking for the heads but no show. I found out today that nothing in Spain starts on time and I probably missed it cause I left early.

Being tired from yesterday, I decided to take it easy today. Walked through the market and after lunch headed to the beach. Read for a bit on the rock lounge until I got sleepy and wanted some soft sand to rest in.  So I headed over to the main beach for some R & R.

Today was sunny and warm so when I arrived at the spot, I stripped down to my bikini. Very happy that I was getting used to the weather and able to get some sun. I was laying on my side with head on the backpack drifting into blissful sleep when I hear a booming "HOLA!" in my ear.

I look over my shoulder to see who is saying hello behind me when I see a giant microphone and TV camera pointed right at me. I literally do a double take. 

This guy in a hot pink shirt lays down next to me and asks me what I'm doing. I say half dazed "This." pointing at the spot I'm in. He says "What?" and realizes I'm not from here. 

Then he asks me where I'm from and I tell him the United States. "When did you get here and when do you leave?" he asks. I tell him and he says "Three months is a long vacation!" I say "Yes, I work a lot". Then he asks me what I do in the U.S. and I tell him I have three jobs. "Three Jobs!!" he says something excitedly that I don't understand but I gather that I am letting people in Asturias that we Americans are workaholics. It's Key West everyone has three jobs.

He asks me "What are they?" I say "I work in a restaurant; on a boat helping people swim and see fish; and I'm a kayak guide". He shakes my hand and says something like "Wow, three jobs da da da da da have a good vacation in Asturias" I say "Thanks, I like it a lot"

There was no "Can we film you?". It just started and I had to go with it. I was wide awake now and decided to paint for a bit. The camera crew was roaming around and at one point I looked up to see where they were and I saw the camera woman shooting my way. I think she got a shot of me painting cause when I looked up she stopped. 

I have no idea what my accent sounds like but I imagine it's very much like Apu on the Simpsons. "Yes! I like it berry, berry much!" 

Who knows what it's for I just hope he got a good shot of my ass.